Observation on a Cruise

When stuffed on a ship with 3,000 of our fellow human and near-human kind, there are many chances to obverse the feeding, bathing, and attempted mating habits of your fellow shipees.  Here are my observations:

Water slides:

• If you are already wearing a thong, is there really any need for picking it out of our tush after you got down the water slide?  Isn't that where you want it?

Swimming Suits:

• While the dress may make the outfit, the swimsuit does not make the body.  Just because they make a bikini in your size, don't mean you should wear it.
• Guys,  I have seen the light.  I finally dumped my $5 Old Navy swimsuit and bought a Body Glove Vapor suits.  After years of chaffing and flashing a little crack, this thing rocked! I could have worn this thing all day.  So really, guys plunk down some dough and buy a real suit.
• Visiting Europeans Men.  Please do not wear your bikini bottom during your US holiday. 

Americans:

•  To all of the wonderful Filipinos, Indonesians, and Thai cruise staff, please know that your cruise patrons are not a representative sample of actual Americans.  We do not normal show up to fine dinning in cut offs and wife beaters.  It is similar to saying that Tijuana accurately represents the rest of Mexico. 

Tattoos:

There was a largely disproportionate number cruise folks with ink.  With everyone one in swimwear, many of the folks there looked like were sponsored NASCAR fenders.  Here is what I observed:

• Scripture written in large text vertically across your flank seem to defeat the message of the holy text.  My guess is that when that young lady is in a positioned for the verse to be read, the fellow does not have the word of God on his mind.
• Picture a large bare oak tree rising up out of the top of a bikini bottom and spreading across he back.  Question: What going on in those swimming bottoms that could foster the growth of a tree?  And then what exactly killed that same tree?  Just wonder what the message was there.
• Another lady had little footprints tattooed on her back and again extending up out of her bikini bottom.  What is living down there?  That what is it walking through to leave tracks up her back.