40 Things I Learned by Age 40

As I have finally turned 40 and have alternated between dancing in the tulips and drinking the dregs of life, I am reflecting on what I have learned up to this point in life. Obviously, not enough.  Nevertheless, here are my...

40 Things I Learned by Age 40:

1. The best moments in life are showing your children what makes life beautiful (including black eyes).
   
   
2. Your beliefs cannot change the nature of God, it is your job to change yourself to find Him.
3. If you intend to toss a baby in the air to make him giggle, look first for low beams, light fixtures, and ceiling fans.
4. Life will knock you flat on your butt time and time again - stand up spit in its eye and ask "more please."  Then when life gives you "more please" and when you are on your butt again it is acceptable to cry for a moment (except in baseball), but you still must to stand up once more.
5. Never get sick at a pro sporting event.  Their venues provide the least inviting toilets in which you will be sticking your head - especially hockey.
6. The best pets are the ones that are the hardest to kill - or are never even alive in the first place (e.g., pet rocks and stuffed animals).
7. Never toss a bottle-fed baby up in the air repeatedly and then hold the baby directly over your head; and if you do, definitely close your mouth. (Maybe I should just stop tossing babies).
8. Remember that to your employer you are a business asset, it is okay to treat them like an income resource and find a better income resource if one comes along.
9. Love is often one sided - and there is nothing you can do about it. Sorry.
10. The best way to see if you are too tall to run through a doorway in a playhouse ISN'T to run full speed at that doorway - Sorry Aunt Sheri
11. Your family loves and understands you more than you probably know.
12. Often the best food is found way off the beaten path in a place that makes you ask "should I really go in there?"
13. In China everyone is trying to cheat you, just expect it.
14. Learning a foreign language is the best way to learn for yourself that we are all brothers and sisters.
    
15. When playing paintball with your family, never give your father the biggest, baddest gun.  He made several backup sons just in case he chooses to utterly waste one of them in just such a contest.
16. You will only understand life when you have created another.
17. Look into the eyes of the person you love.
18. When you have the stomach flu, there is no greater place than on that cool bathroom floor - and cleanliness is simply a perk.
19. Never engage in competitive diving with a punctured ear drum.
20. You will undoubtedly be disappointed by meeting any famous person.  They are much more real and mundane then we want to believe.
21. It is the things that almost kill you that have the greatest impact on our lives (not talking about being hit by a car per se, but that can work too)
22. Always look for damp urine saturation marks before hugging a child in the morning.
23. Heroic moments are often mundane in their immediacy.
24. A real good or bad song can change your mood quickly.
25. It is expected that you show up to church imperfect.  That is why you are there.
26. Look on each new change as an adventure, because "adventure" is as much attitude as it is an action.
27. If you feel old, you can change it.  (there is my Tony Horton plug)
28. Any change requires hard work.  If it's easy (except Magic Erasers), it won't work.
29. The best way to enjoy eating is to learn how to cook.
30. One of the best skills in life is being able to get off a comfortable couch in the middle of a good show to finish the dishes.
31. Never miss something fun to attend someone else's wedding.
32. Always take in a nice deep breath in the cool morning air.
    
33. Fences are intended to keep people from climbing over them, so don't be surprised when you get impaled while playing on one.
34. Don't buy the school books if you don't intend to ever open them.
35. If your are hiring a fellow who dropped out of high school to fix something, chances are you can figure it our yourself with a little effort - but always hire out sheet rocking.
36. You will fail to appreciate some of the greatest people to pass through your life until they are out of your life.
37. Just because you are wearing headphones when breaking wind, it doesn't mean everyone else can't still hear you.
38. Movies are always better on opening night.
39. Some of the best lessons in life are the ones you never wanted to learn.
40. Don't be surprised when you reach 40 and still know so very little.