A Dad's Laundry Fails

My list of failures I have experienced in attempted to execute my duties in the family laundry:


1.  Taking the hamper out of the kids bathroom will not force the kids to take their clothes with them after showering and put them in their own hamper. Rather this losing strategy will merely forces dad to pick up piles of soggy underwear from the damp bathroom floor every seven days.

2.  Wrongly presuming that just because I bought my four-year-old a 12 pack of new socks less than a week ago, I would have no problem finding sock each morning.

3. Clothing manufacturer somehow faultily believing that anything can get cleaned in cold water and failing to recognize all men with wash in hot or warm only, just like washing a car.  Cold water just makes your stains smell better, but not go away.

4. Sadly realizing that my favorite shirts espousing the glories of bacon are not more resistant to grease stains. Doesn't the shirt's nature give the maker an indication of the eating habits of the potential wearer and what he will be eating in said shirt?

5. Realizing that when your kid says "I was so scared I crapped my pants!" more of than not it is not just a colloquialism.

6. Falsely concluding that my 14-year-old's failure to do his laundry will somehow  auto-correct itself when he realizes he has no more clean clothes to wear.  Yet even though his drawers are baron of clean clothes he still seems to be wearing something doused in cologne. 

7.  Shouldn't a washer's capacity should equal the amount of clothing that can be shoved inside and still close the door?  Because that is what I am going to do.

8. When my 13-year-old son has been upstairs for an hour "putting away his laundry" being surprised when all of his laundry is still on his bed and his Game Boy battery is now drained.

9. This might be more of a parenting failure: Calculating how much time and money I will save if I just let my kids run around int the sprinklers all day or let the young ones run around naked just to prevent them from actually wearing real clothes at any point in the day that will have to be washed.

10.  Shouldn't bags of socks come with a spare sock in the bag. My shirts have a spare button and I lose them fare less frequently than socks.