Living is Good, and Dying... Not as Good

I saw a dead man last Saturday. Or if not dead, he was dancing precariously on the doorstep. It was at the second tier of a football stadium near the hot dog concessions stand. There were 10 EMTs around him, his shirt off, very large torso exposed, as one of the EMTs pumped frantically on his chest. There were used shock paddles laying next to him.  I stood there for nearly five minutes until I appreciated I was not watching a rescue, but instead was becoming a gawker to the death of someone’s father. I cannot say what became of the man. I did not see anything in the news.  But a 400 lb. man having a heart attack after climbing to the upper tier of a stadium is likely more common that we want to admit. 

This scene got me reflecting on my own health.  More than 10 years ago I was talking with the guy who played the grouchy older brother from the movie On Our Own, one of my little sister's favorites. He was telling me how he would bike to work every day.  This took him down and up nearly 2000 ft of elevation, not to mention the 10 miles of linear biking. My retort was to pat my not insubstantial midsection and say “I'll never see the south side of 200 pounds myself.”  We both got a good laugh out of it, but in truth it was kind of pathetic.

I had decided that I could never lose the 30 pounds to see that south side without actually trying.  I had convinced myself that because my father has a Mormon-milk-belly, mine was inevitable too.  For most of my youth he took that belly for 5 mile jog each day. Yet the gut persisted.  With that evidence I concluded that there was nothing I could do about my gut either.  Yet funny thing happened.  My father was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes in his 60s.  Not wanting to die (which we strongly encouraged) he changed his diet, set up an exercise regime and lost 60 pounds. There went my excuse.

A few years back a woman named Maria Kang caught internet H-E-double hockey-sticks for posting this picture of her very fit self after birthing three boys and captioned it “What’s your excuse?” While there was some understandable backlash about the abuse motherhood has on the female body, I believe the question is a legitimate one. I know that I had an excuse - Fat Genes - and I was sticking to it.  But it was just that... an excuse.  

So as I sit here, having been well south of 200 pounds for more than four years and being in the best shape I have been in since my teens, I thought I’d share some of my suggestions for getting in shape, or in other words, ways to not help death find your door step so easily:

1. IT NEEDS TO BE HARD. Sorry. Demz da berries.  Getting fat, chubby, and out of shape is easy – and admittedly kind of fun. To get into shape, you need to do the exact opposite.  If at some point you are not doubled over and ready to hurl on the floor, it’s not enough. If you’re not hungry at some point (unless you have some strange affinity towards vegetables which I do not fully understand), it is likely not going to work.  Work is calculated as a force multiplied by distance. So unless it’s a large weight you are moving or you are moving over a very long distance, or better yet both; it’s not work (sorry Mall-Walkers).  If you see a skinny person walking, I will guarantee that walking did not get them skinny; good genes or a good gym did.
   
2. MAKE IT INTERESTING.  Unsurprisingly, if you hate it you won’t do it.  So find something you like to do; sports, hiking, dancing, cross-fit, MMX, whatever. Just make sure it burns energy. Even if you’re doing workout videos (which I highly recommend most any the Beach Body products), find one you like. I find Shaun T in Insanity annoying, but I find Tony Horton annoying in a way which I relate to.  There is something for everyone.  I only run when chased, but I enjoy sprinting after a Frisbee.  I don't like street biking; I could take a car and see the same thing.  I like mountain biking through scenes I can't see from my car. Find what you like and do it.
   
   
3. MIX IT UP.  One thing I've noticed for myself is that I have the largest weight drops when I change the kind of workout I’m doing. When basketball season turned to hockey season or when I switched from Insanity to P90X3, I saw another drop.  Keep moving and changing. Muscle has memory and if you do the same thing over and over and over again your body is able to adapt and do the same activity with less energy, i.e., less weight loss.
   
   
4. GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.  Fitness needs to be the full package. I love sports and enjoy weightlifting. The idea of yoga and Pilates was not in my wheelhouse. My philosophy on yoga was that for years people have been telling me to pull my head out of my derrière. Yet in yoga class they seem to be telling me to do the exact opposite. Once I pushed past my own prejudice and started doing yoga WITH my weightlifting and sports, I noticed that I didn't get hurt as often. The injured disc in my back completely went away.  I have balance too.  I might even move out of my comfort zone any try Zumba again, once my son is out of psychological counseling after walking in on me trying Zumba for the first time.
   
5. FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.  Whenever you get in shape you get tips from 1027 different people that all contradict each other (including this post).  Some people tell you to eat steadily throughout the day to increase your metabolism. This does not work for me, I just get fat. I don't eat until after I exercise and usually my first meal is at lunch.  It works for me. Running five miles works for some people, it didn’t work for my dad; weightlifting and diet did.  Whatever it is, find what works for your body and do it.
   
   
6. YOUR BODY CAN HEAL.  When I first started to seriously try to get into shape, I had an injured disc in my back, tendinitis in my foot, tendinitis in my elbow, and a high school wrestling injury to my shoulder; all of which made exercising painful. But to my surprise, as I did pull-ups, and yoga, and push-ups, and burpees, all of that went away.  Completely gone. I can’t even say when it went away. I just know that I don’t hurt anymore - physically at least - mentally is a different subject.
   
   
7. IT’S ABOUT QUALITY OF LIFE.  I can honestly remember telling myself that I was approaching middle-age and that if the wheels fell off of this car, what did it really matter since I was heading to the sedentary years of my life and eventual death. I contrast that thought with a man I saw on the subway in Shanghai a few years back. He was probably the oldest person on the train, but he was also certainly the fittest. I realize that is the guy I want to be when I am older. The guy who can still enjoy life san-Jazzie.  The kind of guy who cashes it in trying to ride a wheelie across a natural arch in his 70s rather than the guy who dies from respiratory failure at 59 while watching reruns of Idol.
   
8. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS.  Look, in some cases being skinny is just genetic, just like being fat. So don’t think you can do the same things as the genetically pencil-thin dude and look the same.  If you are genetically disposed to being overweight (as my father phrases it, “famously fat”), it does not mean you’re relegated to being that way forever. It DOES mean you have to work harder.  Again, sorry.  But hey, it beats being genetically ugly or genetically stupid, it’s harder to fix those.  You will also not look that same as the next guy.  No mater how I try, I will not be a skinny tweak or be built like Wolverine.  Nuts!  You women may never be able to look like Scarlett Johansson in Winter Soldier (or in any movie she is in).  It is not about looking like a Photo Shopped model, it is about health and quality of life.

So there is my fitness sermon. Do I know what I am talking about? Probably not. These are simply things that worked for me. Though I do know this; there is much more in us than we give ourselves credit for.  Don’t believe that you’re relegated to being unhealthy. That is the beauty of human nature and ability; we can keep pushing our limits.  And having seen both ends of this spectrum I can positively state that life is better when you feel better.