Why are you teaching my children to procrastinate? I don’t think they need any more training in this art form. They are already seasoned veterans performing at the highest possible level as their unmade beds and dinner plate still sitting on the kitchen table already attest. They are experts; and naturally so. No, I don’t think it is due to the superior genes I bestowed on them, I think it is an inherent human gift, like eyesight, where all but a few are privileged to have this gift. And since it is easier than falling off of a bike, why are we teaching it.
“Teaching it? How are we teaching dear Blog-Master?” you may ask (I like how you called me Blog-Master there). So glad you asked. You teach it by giving my kids until the end of the semester to turn in missing homework. And not just turn it in, but turn it in for full credit! You teach it by allowing kids to correct every missed question on a test… again for full credit. What? Do any of us Generation Awesome (This what I am calling us kids raised in the 80’s) remember getting the chance to turn junk in late for full or even partial credit? I surely don’t. When I missed that deadline, that assignment was just that… dead. There were no more points to be scavenged from the homework or tests percentages to be brought up. That was that. I was over. Thatsa, thatsa, thatsa, that's all folk! Now we may still have turned in the assignment to keep our parents from getting out the wooden spoon or to keep ourselves out of detention (despite the Breakfast Club making it look so cool), but it was by no means a freebee. It was work for no reward because we had slacked off and were being punished for it.
So what did this teach us? It taught us to do what it takes to get it done, on time even, or suffer the natural consequences. This lesson is important because virtually every facet of life has deadlines that you really cannot ignore:
Taxes: April 16? Yah, whatever!
Religion: “Do not procrastinate the day of your repentance.”
Marriage: “Darling I know we just got married. I will stop texting my ex by the end of the quarter.”
Court: Can you say “Default Judgment.”
Work: “I'm going to need those TPS reports... ASAP.”
Anniversary: “I didn’t forget our anniversary Honey, I will just celebrate it at my convenience sometime in the next three weeks.”
Christmas Morning: “Dad, what the #$%& do mean ‘Santa will come later, no biggie?!?’”
Tooth Fairy: (Ok, we have all forgotten about the ruddy tooth once or twice)
So when a kid is given the chance to turn homework in later for full credit so he can play today, is it any wonder how often he chooses to play; wouldn’t you? It is just human nature, foolish, but human nature. So dear education cartel, can we please put things back the way they were? Serve our kids a few hard knocks and life lessons and then let them move on the better for the experience?
I know it feels good to let our kids succeed and have second chances with few or delayed consequences, but it does not serve them well as adults. It leaves them as unmotivated as scoreless soccer playing bubble children who can’t take a hit in life. It leaves them unprepared for the hardship of adulthood. It leaves them like a sail boat with no sail. It leaves them like a blade that never was tempered. It leaves them like a three wheeled ATC driving on… well, driving on really anything (those thing were really unstable). It leaves them like tree with shallow roots. It leaves them like… like… like a millennial. Oh crap!

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