Foul Fail: Why New York's Mayor Cannot Boycott Chick-Fil-A

Last week New York City’s Mayor Bill DeBlasio urged New Yorkers not to patronize the Christian owned Chick-fil-A franchise which is rapidly expanding in the city… a boycott as it were.  The boycott was focused on the cause-du-jure, LGBT issues, because one of the company’s owners dared profess his support of “family values”... two year ago.  (I thought it was the elephants that never forget, perhaps it should be donkeys?).  I guess we can’t be having any of those “family values” in New York, can we?  I mean who do these chicken cooking Christians think they are having their own opinions on social issues?  Especially  opinions different from the Mayor, that’s so 1776. 

While leftist New Yorkers are all too eager to brutally boycott anyone with religious beliefs, the Mayor made one major miscalculation.  He was attempting to boycott Chick-Fil-A; the best fried foul every to cross the road.  It really is impossible to get people to stop eating this chicken for ANY cause.  It is boycott proof.  And so it was here in New York.  No sooner did the Mayor suggest that New Yorkers not patronize the Chick-Fil-A, then lines backed up out the doors.  People simply heard “blah blah blah blah blah blah Chick-Fil-A!” and said to themselves “That sounds good.”  This was not a bunch of “right-wingers” lining up to support a cause they believed in; this was a bunch of “fried-breasters” showing up to eat the chicken they believed in. 

Let’s face it, Chick-Fil-A could have Hitler stationed there behind the counter wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt made in a Kathy Gifford child labor sweat shop, and people would still eat this chicken.  They wouldn’t even flinch.  There would be no hesitation.  If patrons had to walk the gauntlet of a Michael Vick hosted dogfight between Lassie and Clifford the Big Red Dog in order to enter the front door, folks are still walking in.  Even were Chick-Fil-A to only permit ladies with actually lady parts enter the woman’s restroom, people would not boycott this restaurant.  THEY WOULD EAT CHICKEN.  If they fry it, you will come.

Now in Mayor DeBlasio's call for a boycott, he did reluctantly concede that Chick-Fil-A and its owners do have “the legal” to have a contrary opinion to his AND still sell chicken.  A legal right, Mayor? A legal right?  I am quite certain that this chicken is a constitutional right.  It is also rumored that there is a constitutional right to express your opinion and have your own beliefs.  Yet I think the “freedom of speech” thing is merely an amendment to the constitution whereas the right to Chick-Fil-A chicken is part the original language of the constitution (I believe it's in the preamble).  Still even were the New York thought/food-police to criminalize these tender morsels which are deep fried to the sounds of Gregorian chanting, it would spread underground like illicit booze during prohibition.  Within days we’d all be eating boot-legged seasoned chicken at deep fried-speakeasy only accessible by a special knock through a “men only” restroom door… which are not being searched because Elliot Ness is instructed to boycott such bigoted types of restrooms.  This is chicken you cannot stop.

And while we all may be ready to drop these pesky constitutions rights to speech and privacy at the alters of political correctness and demagoguery, as for me and my house, you can take my Chick-Fil-A sandwich when you pry it from of my cold dead hand.