The Epic Triggering of Butt-Hurting "Mil-Liberal" - Suck It Up

BUTT-HURT: An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Frequently associated with overt hostility towards the "aggressor."  In the past few days have you made frantic Tweets about the entire global future dissolving into oblivion?  Were you caught on CNN melting into a sobbing pile of human goo on the floor of Hillary’s campaign headquarters?  Did you take to the streets burning trash and chanting slogans of questionable rhyme schemes demanding that someone "coitus Trump?"   Are you in need of one of those counseling dolls so that you can show your therapist exactly where it hurts?  Do you have more trigger words than the Knights Who Say Ni?  If any of the above descriptions apply, then you may be a Butt-hurt Millennial-Liberal or Mil-liberal (the term butt-hurt is inherent in the other two words).    

With the election of Hillary Clinton, you were going to change the world because Barack just didn’t have enough time.  You weren’t sure how this was going to happen, but like all things in your lives someone somewhere was going to do something for you to make it all better somehow.  I know that your participation-trophy giving parents didn’t prepare you for the life lessons that the Electoral College just gave you.  But hopefully you are starting to learn that those lessons that your parents failed to teach you will be gained one way or the other.  Life can be a petite feminine canine, can’t it?

Despite your deep emotional need and longing to have safe zones free of trigger words where people only say kind things to each other; that is not a world we live in - far from it.  In fact, this may surprise you, many people supported Donald Trump PRECISELY BECAUSE he said what was on his mind and didn’t care much about how anyone felt about it.  We loved watching you Mil-liberal's blow head gasket after head gasket as he destroyed the mold of the modern day metro-sexual politician.  "Everyone was supposed to be nice and say nice things," and Trump didn't.  He really didn’t care how you felt or what you thought of him.  He addressed some real problems this country is facing without taking the time first to encase you all in bubble wrap.  And yes, he also seemed to trigger just about everyone and anyone along the way… you all kind of deserved it.  A taste of your own medicine as it were.

We on the right have spent year after year being labeled by you demagogues as racists, homophobes, elitists, Xena-phobes (though I didn’t like the series, I can’t say I was actually afraid of Xena), all for having a different point of view.  I know it makes it easier to label anyone with a different point of view as you with some evil epitaph… but it still doesn’t make it true.  I recall an encounter with one of your types who threatened to sick the NAACP on me.  My race crime was to correctly state that the NCAA basketball rules permit a player to rebound his own air-ball, so long as it was a legitimate shot.   Now there was a black man who didn’t like the white guy scoring a put-back layup on him.  Might as well just hand me a white hood and burning cross, right?  

So as you and your butt-hurt friends are in full on melt down mode marching in the streets beating and burning because Trump is going to destroy modern society (I guess you guys figured you’d beat him to the task), we are laughing at your "superior intellect."  No really, we are.  Not sure if this is your first brush with failure, but I can promise that it won’t be your last.  It’s not Donald Trump that is making you go nuts, it’s facing real life that is doing it.  

I first voted at 18 in 1992.  Sitting on a campus where the Young Republicans was the second largest university club, Bill Clinton may as well have been one of the four riders of the apocalypse – and Hillary was the horse he rode in on (too mean, too soon?).  That Wednesday after the ascension of Bubba, my fellow Rush Limbaugh club member dorm mates and I (the largest club on campus) all wore black.  It was the end of democracy as we knew it.  Yet despite the fact the President Clinton proved to be the exact kind of man we all said he was, blue dress and all, we survived… two terms even.  Want to know how we survived? Probably not, but I’ll tell you anyway.  Your life does not depend on who is in the White House or who holds congress or to whom any of the Kardashian’s are married to.

The secret to life is that your success AND failures almost entirely depend on you.  And life really doesn’t give a rip about how you feel about it; it is a question of what you DO about it.  There will be folks around you to cause you butt-hurt.  Your boss (this is the title of the person you work for, when you finally get a job) will say mean things to you, make you work weekends, and will say things to butt-hurt you.  Your family will disagree with your adherence to Mao’s Little Red Book.  They will butt-hurt you.  Your friends will butt-hurt you.  Your neighbor will butt-hurt you.  Your proctologist will butt-hurt you – I guess this is a different kind of butt hurt, never mind.  You realize that you can still keep moving forward in life, even if you don’t feel good about it.  This may sound surprising, but it’s true.

So as you fragile little snowflakes look into your burning future where no one can fix your hurt, let me give you the lesson Dave gave the Chipmunks back in the ‘50s – “Suck it up.”  Life is not here to cater to you.  It is a giant moving turmoil of events in which you get to find your own peace and happiness in the midst thereof.  No one is going to hand it to you – this includes your parents.  If you can’t handle it, you best be ready for a rough ride.  And when you come across a fellow millennial who says butt-hurt things and pushes your triggers by their drive in life, those just may be my kids.  Because I'm raising them to beat you out in the market place... and not give you a participation trophy when you lose.